The golly-darned charged-up Cheneys working the wretch-trenches of all the liberal ink-rags - they're blowing these cock-a-mamie charges of vice waaaayyyyy out of proportion! I tell you, I take a full load to the face from my Roveyblorpkins every calendar day (and twice or more, if he's TiVoed The View!), and you don't see ME filing fallacious charges! I just suck it up, swallow my salty emotions, and fall to my knees, begging for more.
Well, shoot - he's got his finger sneaking toward his trigger again right as we speak...