Stand by Your Man
The brains behind the outlaw website ilovekarlrove.com offers advice for wives of the soon to be indicted.
Why must that nasty Hammer fellow come down so goshdarned crabbily on my Plorplesnortums? Maybe his cuffs are all chafey? I know my Rovey gets super-testy when his special vintage "Agnew '72" shorts go riding up wrong, but he'd *never* resort to petty revenge like this!
"By the way, tough titties, Turd Blossom! Fristy's already called dibs on us being bunkmates, so's if you're gonna be joining us down at the ol' Graybar Hotel, might I suggest you (A.) get on the horn with your pal Scooter, and (B.) holler shotgun for the top bunk. From what I hear, Scoots is a "leaker" in more ways than one!..."