Grrr! I know it's not very Christian to speak crankily of the dying, but I must say that Rovey's workmate Pastor Ashcroft isn't going to be appointed to the Presidential Council for Partying Politics (established as a bipartisan task force during the Kennedy years, and currently under the guiding hand of Keymaster Emeritus, Brother Teddy Chappaquiddick D-MA) any time this century. Not that he's completely opposed to the notion of folks getting together to socialize, mind you. It's just that whereas Rovey just loves nothing better than gathering together a Gremlin-load of his chummiest staffers and a few wacky pals he's bonded with down at The Eulenspiegel Society for sans-pants Boggle, Clamato-tinis and veal tartare shots in the pudding vat, Mr. Ashy gets *his* knickers bunchy by posse-ing up a fairy ring 'round Barney Frank's office and telling everyone he's throwing a weenie roast. Thing is, he's such a stingy soiree planner, that while he never forgets to bring along sticks, matches, and hymnals, never once have I seen that man whip out so much as a single sausage! Just whose tube steak he thinks we're going to stick in our buns, I've no idea. Such abominable behavior!
Pastor Stick-Up-His-Ashcroft also had the gall (Well, maybe not any more! Tee hee!) to declare a moratorium on West Wing Wet Docker Wednesdays and force female staffers who violate the floor-length hemline rule (plus anyone caught ankle-ogling!) to wear the Punishment Starr-kini over their clothes for the remainder of the workday. (Rovey made me buckle it on once when I'd forgotten to seal the humidor after an impromptu Impeachments 'n Cream social with a gaggle of his favorite interns, and let me tell you - a few hours of that strapped to your Gap thong will have just about anyone down on their knees and pleading for a Presidential pardon.) And does Rovey's boss do anything about it? Noooooo, of course not! He's too busy being all "Hey Rovey, I had a really good waffle this morning - is Belgium a real place? Can we take 'em over?" and "Hey Rovey, am I allowed to Texecute John Kerry if he keeps saying cruddy things about me?" to bother. Luckily Rovey's gonna have some glasnost coming up, 'cause he's shuffling off to Russia for a few days. Even though my Snorklenumpkins is an A#1 super-duper campaign operative, he's never had a candidate get 70% of the vote like Mr. Putin just did! He's gonna stock up a knapsack with Hydrox and Z. Cavariccis and see if he can scare up some tips from his comrades at the Kremlin. Das Rovedanya!