November 29, 2003
I don't wanna holiday in the sun...
I know I shouldn't say this, because Rovey likes him and all, but Rovey's boss just drives me so crazy sometimes! It's like he's always trying to get between us, and doesn't care that while yes, Rovey loves his job, sometimes he just needs a little private time with his Babykins. We'll be in the middle of a private moment - maybe sneaking a smooch on the portico, and his boss will just come butting in with "Oh my God, I totally have this meeting with the Fed Chair in twenty minutes, and, like, I can't even balance my checkbook. Could you explain it to me, Karl?" or "You SO have to come and see the SIZE of this dump that Barney took in the Rose Garden!" or something like that, and because he's his boss, Rovey just has to smile and act nice and do what he says.
For instance, take Thankgiving. The night before, Rovey and I were sitting down to a late dinner - some leftover pot pie, creamed onions and schnaaps (his favorite!) - and we heard someone leaning on a car horn out in front of the house. We figured it was just his usual groupies who like to drive by and leave love notes in toilet paper on the lawn, or soap funny messages onto the car windows. But it kept going, and someone started rapping pretty insistently at the front door. Rovey groaned and said it was the special secret code knock and he went and got the door, and of COURSE it was his boss. He was acting all covert, and was dressed way casually and actually tried to get Rovey to give up his Thankgiving plans with ME, and hop on a plane with HIM and go hang out in…well he wouldn't say it directly with me in the room, but I knew darned well that a trip to "Aghdadbay" wasn't gonna get my Rovey home in time to carve up the turkey.
I couldn't just sit there and let him wreck our holiday, so I said, "I'm sorry, Mr. President, my Rovey is too nice to say anything, but we have plans for tomorrow, and you're just going to have to understand that he is NOT at your disposal 24/7. I know you think it'd be fun to have a pal with you when you go and have fun in the nice, warm, desert sun for a few hours, but you have to learn that the whole world doesn't revolve around you!"
And would you believe that he actually had the nerve to try and tell me that the whole trip was Rovey's idea in the first place? I'm sorry, but my Rovey would NEVER be behind anything that would keep a bunch of people far away from their loved ones on a special day like Thanksgiving. And he sure as heck wouldn't want to keep that van full of reporters working on a day that everyone should be at home with their friends and families, celebrating the freedom that makes America the great nation it is. I thought his boss was just being a big chicken, and I said so!
Anyhow, the two of them went off into Rovey's workshop in the basement for a few minutes (You know, I don't know what the heck he does when he's down there! One time I joked that maybe he had a bunch of spare robot parts lined up in case Mr. Cheney's heart went kablooey again, and he got such a funny look on his face. I felt so bad - I know Rovey's such a sensitive soul, and it hurts him when I'm tactless like that.), and when they came back up, his boss pulled his baseball cap down over his face and left through the back door. He must have been so ashamed about trying to split us up, that he couldn't even face me. Rovey told me that he'd convinced his boss that it would look better in the press if it didn't seem like he had anything to do with this trip and I agreed. Who in the world would support a presidential advisor who'd leave his best girl behind on a holiday?
Posted by Virginia at November 29, 2003 03:07 AM | TrackBack