I've been thinking how lucky we are to live in the age of unfettered media access - to know that just scant years ago we'd have been deprived the right to scrutinize each and every scintillating second of our government's legislative process in action, that in nations with strictly state-controlled press, the general populace is cruelly deprived of the God-given right we Americans enjoy, of seeing what their democratically elected officials look like when they're whacked out on grande lattes and trucker speed (let alone having democratically elected officials to begin with). Yup - I'm talking filibuster, y'all.
I don't know how you all celebrated, but I stocked up on General Foods International Coffee and chocolate-covered espresso beans and cuddled up in my comfiest jammies on the couch in front of C-SPAN 2, all prepped and ready for a fun-filled night of good ol' fashioned American grandstanding. Granted, I may have missed a few minutes while I was running off to the powder room to, um, revisit the Pizza Hut Meat Lovers' pie and pint of Chunky Monkey I'd bought to share with my girlfriends who totally bailed on coming over to watch this with me tonight. Said they'd "thought I was kidding" and maybe I should "double up on my meds". Well phooey - just shows what they know. NOTHING is better than a 'buster. Not even the party they said they were going to. (Hmmm…my E-vite to it must have bounced or something.) Well I showed them by spending the night (and half the next day) with BOTH parties, so there!
Okay, granted, I may have drifted off a little around hour 15 or so (not sure exactly when it was, but a middle-aged white guy was speaking…), but sure as the swallows fly back to Capistrano, my thoughts fluttered off Roveward. Sigh…just imagine if Rovey was in the Senate, and there were 30 unadulterated hours of him ejaculating pearl after pearl of governmental wisdom. Oh, I'd be first in line to buy that DVD boxed set to watch it slow-mo, freeze frame, or let it fully fill my TiVo hard drive - I'd take it in any way I could.
Just think - a filibuster is sometimes referred to as a "Senate Slumber Party". How utterly adorable would it be to see Rovey take the floor in his footie PJs - or maybe in a robe and comfy slippers…a loosely tied robe that might just happen to slip open or flip up while caught in a gust of air as he strode manfully up to the microphone? Maybe it could even turn into a real slumber party, and when Orrin Hatch fell asleep, Rovey and I could stick his hand in warm water so he'd tinkle himself, or we could freeze Barbara Boxer's bra and then she'd cry and her mom would have to come and pick her up, and we'd giggle, Rovey and I would.
Best of all, there'd definitely be a game of truth or dare and I'd get picked, and I'd have to say which Senator I thought was the hunkiest, and I'd be all "Truth!" and confess my crush on Rovey, and he'd get embarrassed. But when it came around to him, he'd be all "Dare!" and they'd dare him to kiss me, and he'd be trying to act all cool and tough, but then when it finally came to it - he'd totally slip me the tongue. That's just how my Rovey is.
He can buster THIS filly any time he likes!