Howdy RoveHos!
People are always writing me notes, and coming up to me at the feed store and sending various NIH employees to our house to ask me just how in the world I can stay with a man like Rovey. And I tell 'em all the same thing - as flummoxy as it is that an ultra-studly Hunkasaurus Sex like him would stoop to let such a rank nobody plumb the deep recesses of his cuddle cavern, he picked ME for his spelunking partner, and I am grateful for any opportunity Rovey gives me to suit up and tunnel the shaft to his snuggle center. Oh how I dig that man! Geddit? "Dig!" Tee hee - I made a funny!
Anyhow, in the time I've known my nekkid poll rat (And by "known", I mean owned the requisite navel-to-knees Jell-O mold of him, sussed out his preferred brand of gentlemanly itch unguent and flavor of Pedialyte, and had the DARPA workmen come in to make his requested modifications of the powder room in my pre-Rovey-cohabitation flat. 'Cause really - until you've memorized the preferred pressure and temp stats for your Blubblenumpkins' Chalupa Night bidet settings, can you honestly claim to "know" him? This RoveHo sez no!), I've learned that it takes a heck of a lot of effort to make passion's Fry-Daddy stay bubblin' hot while my baby's away for days at a time, commingling with steamy G.O.P. glamourpussies like that Condolicious Rice and Katherine "Hubba-Hubba" Harris, not to mention my ex-beau Tucker C., who is irresistible to ladies, gents and wee yippie dogs alike when doused in Aramis and decked out in his breakaway latex bow tie. I try to go along as often as I can, but somebody's got to stay home and stir the tapioca vat, now don't they? (Oooh how Rovey *hates* it when he slips in and feels the slightest hint of un-skimmed pudding skin clinging to his bare bottom!)
But, thanks to trial, error, and some helpful tips from The New Republic, I've figured out a few ways to keep his parts piqued and brobdingnagian libido focused 'Ho-ward. For instance, when I pack his valise for an overnight jaunt to Milwaukee, I'll include some region-specific Polaroid snaps of me all a-frolic with a cattle prod, or squeezing sweet, naughty nothings onto my torso with a tube of Parkay. Perhaps, if I know in advance where my Precious Porky-Pie is going to be resting his pretty head, I'll phone the concierge and arrange to have the mini-bar stashed chock-a-block with a batch of suet crunch cookies and the in-room Victrola cued up to play the copy of "our" Carol Channing ballad I've FedExed ahead. Maybe, I might text a risqué ham sonnet to his Blackberry device, or wood-burn a sketch of my dainty region into the stock of his musket when he's off swan hunting with Justice Scalia. It's really the little things that keep our scrapple pan sizzling fresh, isn't it?
Oh, and while Rovey knows that there's no way this 'Ho would ever think to stray (At least that's what the man said after the last zapping session over at the CIA labs - they even gave me ice cream and some funny Regis Philbin band-aids for my temples for being such a brave little toaster. Reeeeeeeeeegis! Tee-hee!), he still does such sweet little things to let me know he's got me on his noggin. For instance, he'll drizzle his sumptuous hindquarters with Double-Fudge Yoo-hoo and leave an imprint on my favorite pillowcase so I may nestle against the specter of my beloved's cheek as I dream. Or perhaps he'll leave instructions with Andrew Card to sneak in and slip some prescription Dreamy Drops into my porridge and fix it so I'll wake up cinched super-tight to the Special Chair with a DVD of my Cuddlepants performing interpretive tap dances of House Resolutions dressed in naught but his Polka Thong playing on constant loop just inches from my sleep-grogged eyes. So sweet!
Oh, for sorghum's sake! I've rambled on longer than I'd meant, and now I must scoot if I'm ever going to get Rovey's valise packed in time. He's off to a fundraiser in Boise, and unless I take the necessary time, forceps and petroleum jelly to get this potato positioned just so for the photo, I'm not going to be comfy sitting down for at least a week!
Excuse me if I bring up a new topic...
Where were you when you found out you were in love with Rove?
I found out in 2000, during Bush's South Carolina battle with John McCain. I saw Rove standing next to Bush, and when I first saw his smile, I knew anyone that doesn't agree with him gets severely screwed. Since then, I have fantasized about meeting him and telling him "no" until he takes me down and makes me scream "YES!" Can anyone relate to these feelings?
Posted by: Bill at March 23, 2004 01:26 PMARE YOU FUCKING NUTS! I'D RATHER ROLL IN DOG SHIT THAN BED THAT FUCK!
Posted by: Annonymous at March 23, 2004 07:59 PMOYE"...Anon...
Do you give your mamita besos with that boca???
Shame on you! Since you were so rude, I am going to send a dozen Prune Pastelitos to your house, and THANKS TO MY ROVE POWERED LAPTOP...
COOCHIECOOBA can find ANYBODY!!!
COOCHIECOOBA....I love that ROVEY MAN!!!!
um i read it and i will be devoted to this page for all of my life...and when i die, i shall die with this page in my hand
Posted by: Emily at March 24, 2004 11:55 AMOyeme'...BILL...
I want to take on your question. Rove LOVES to find sweet - young things, and we first met during a screening of E.T...way back in 1982!!!
I looked away from the screen, and into the eyes of KARL, and was mesmerized by his gaze...and I can not get him out of my system!!! I am thinking about buying a Range ROVEr...just to have his name, around me...all of the time!
COOCHIECOOBA...I LOVE THAT ROVEY MAN!!!!!
I am feeling so squishy inside...watching the hearings today, and I'll bet a lot of you folks are as well.
Here is a special dish, in honor of our ROVEmeister...and the USS COLE...
COLE SLAW...with chopped prunes...
Take one firm HEAD OF CABBAGE...
shred it into a million pieces...(or several Million...if your instrument is SHARP enough..)
Throw it into a large bowl, leaving lots of room to TOSS. Add a nice dollop of MAYO, season with
a blend of Spices, from the Orient, shred a few carrots, and add a cup or two of chopped Prunes!!!
YUMMY...(did he just say FECKLESS???...sorry,I'm half listening to the hearings...)and TOSS as HARD as you can, make sure it is well blended.
Serve with a cold BREW...It's bound to keep you running all night long!!!
Ay...Yo tengo que cocinar algo para ROVEY tambien..MANOS DE CERDO A LA ANDALUZA
( FOR YOU GRINGOs...the translation is...
Pig's hands a la Andaluza) Rich, and Filling and So very GOOD)
1 pound of Garbanzos(CHICK peas) 4 tender Pig's
hands, 1 BAY leaf, 1/4 cup olive OIL, 1 large onion, finely chopped,1 small green pepper, 3 RIPE TOMATOES,peeled, seeded and chopped, 1 Teaspoon Turkish Paprika,
1 Pinch of Pakistani Cumin, 2 CHORIZOS(down,chica...) 2 ounces of Spanish Sherry, 1 tablespoon wine Vinegar, 1 tablespoon freshly chopped parsley.
*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*$*
Soak Garbanzos overnight in SALT WATER.
Next day, wash and scrub Pig's hands thoroughly(Sort of like Pontius Pilate..)Place in DEEP 2.1/2
Quart casserole with cover. Add BAY leaf, and cover with water. Bring to a boil, and SKIM.
Cook over moderate heat for one hour.Rinse the garbanzo's and add to the casserole. Add a little more water, if necessary. Continue cooking on moderate heat, until the CHICK peas are tender, and squishy.(about 1 hour longer...)
While the Pig's hands and CHICK peas are cooking, prepare the saute':
In the olive OIL ( extra virgin ) saute' the onion and green pepper( called capsicum in Greece) until transparent. Add the chopped tomatoes and cook until soft. Add Paprika, and Cumin, and slice the Chorizo and toss that in as well.Mix well, cover and cook for 10 minutes on low heat(of course...)
Add the Sherry, vinegar, and chopped parsley to saute'. Stir to mix well.
When CHICK peas and PIG's HANDS are tender, and squishy, remove the VISIBLE bones of the Pig's hands. There should not be too much liquid in Casserole (1.1/2 cups should be sufficient liquid to continue cooking) Pour saute' into casserole, and mix, thoroughly. COVER...(DEEP)
and simmer for 1/2 hour. Serve over steamed long grain rice...(BASMATI..?) Yields 6 Servings.
DID you HEAR THAT!!! ***HE*** just said "SMOKING GUN".!!! Talk about BEATING AROUND THE BUSH!!!!!!
C'MON +++SLADE GORDON+++(Sexiest name on the Hearing Commitee)...SLADE....let ***HIM***
have it..!!!
...POSTED TOO SOON....
***HE*** just said "DIXIE CUP"...there ought to be a LAW!!!C'MON...+++SLADE+++hey...***HE'S***
been +++SLAYED...BY ...SLADE+++ Look at that YO-YO
It's very pleasant to find wise words here.
Good job, HOTOTROT!
Paul
Are you spamming Paul?
Not too much sence in your comment.
Regards,
Steeveguy
What? I do not spam and hate it as well. Why do you call me a spammer, Steeveguy???
You're probably the one who's spamming man!
Mystical Mystic Karl
After Boise there are options for a man in demand.
We all love Karl Rove; his quirky mood swings are endearing to we who look for the human touches in this somber administration. However, Sources say, Karl, like Michael Jackson and Sai Baba is going to jump ship and move to that most liberal, spiritual and metaphysical of enclaves. Karl has decided to immigrate to Auroville, India. With the heat of his actions coming home to roost, there are too few here to fool.
http://scari.org/auroville.html
Karl sees an opportunity to direct policy for another political entity. Auroville needs policy direction, Perception Management, to rebalance their public relations with the Native Peoples; tribal unrest is at a boiling point and Karl should take the conflict to a new level.
Condoleezza Rice is planning a move too, Condi and Karl have been close for some time. Now with her fall from grace, rather than falling on her swords, she is going to join other disaffected patriots in Auroville. Michael Jackson is slated to make a disappearance later this month, his plans with Sai Baba in the City of Dawn will ring in a new way for humans being human to live with grace and beauty.
http://scari.org/irreverent_Irreverence.html
>
The Pundit, Mickey Ganesh has long forecast this merger of East and West.
Steeveguy, You should take it easier, this guy is not spamming since he's back here.
He's doing it again!!!
I do not know, nor remember anyone, since I have amnesia. Who is that chubby guy in all of the photos? Never mind, don't tell me, I do not want to know. He is the one who gave me amnesia, so, I am staying home for safety reasons, since if I go out, I know that I will not remember where I live, and I want to live, and not remember.
Posted by: Insomniac at May 11, 2004 06:50 AM"What a dreadful thing it must be to have a dull father."
Posted by: Mary at June 5, 2004 01:03 PMhttp://www.officialdarajoy.com/wwwboard/messages/3502.html http://www.officialdarajoy.com/wwwboard/messages/3502.html
Posted by: Baluga lighter at July 18, 2004 07:31 PM